whoops . . . spoke too soon.

This November stinks after all. I'm unemployed again. It's a blessing in disguise because I was going to quit at the end of the year anyway, but they beat me to the punch. It didn't happen the way I planned, but it is the same result. Being unemployed stinks, but I'm going to enjoy December. Once school is out, I'll have 5 weeks of no school and no work! I won't be able to afford Christmas, but at least I can enjoy it without the burdens of homework and a job!

In which I am thankful & optimistic

November is usually the month of the year that I find myself feeling very discombobulated and nearly depressed. In fact, in the past, I have been depressed for nearly the entire month. There was that one year that I spent nearly the whole month in bed because I was so out of sorts. This year is different. Better. It's only the 9th day of the month, but I know it's going to better.

I've had Thanksgiving on my mind for a while. It disgusts me to walk into Target and see all the wintertime & Christmasy decorations hanging from the ceiling. It's not time for that people! They were up before the Halloween pumpkins were taken down. I love Christmas, don't get me wrong, but Thanksgiving has a time and a place, too.

Saturday night was my sister's engagement party, and I am so happy for her. I love the man she's chosen, and I'm excited that his family will be a part of ours now. We had a great time the other night. Our small little crowd blended right in with his large extended family. His dad and aunts & a few others prepared the meal. Hmmm . . . makes me want to go find a Persian restaurant! Chicken tenderloins, beef tenderloins, beef kebobs, grilled vegetables, yummy salad, and two rice dishes. This one dish, called Wedding Rice, was a big hit! It's got veggies, citrus, and berries in it. It was delish! I want to learn how to make it! I want to learn how to make the chicken & beef tenderloins, too. But the food wasn't just the good part of the party. Seeing two cultures blend so naturally was awesome to me. My sister's fiance comes from an an Iranian family that came to America years ago. (Short version, of course.) Her fiance and his brothers were all born here, but their father has done a good job of keeping them attached & familiar with his native culture. I'm so thankful for my sister's happiness and her new family!

I had to leave the party early so that I could play taxi cab for my grandmother & make sure she made it home safely. She doesn't drive at night, so I took her home. We were almost at her house, and my truck conked out. It quickly came back to life and we had no problems for the rest of the night. I had no problems with it yesterday. And today, it conked out at every red light and stop sign I came to, and eventually it even decided to drop dead while I was riding down the road at 35 mph. It was not fun. I was actually a little scared. It now sits parked waiting for a tow truck to get it and take it to my mechanic. I'm thankful that it didn't cause a wreck today, and I'm also extremely thankful that my friend is going to let me use her car while mine is in the shop. I hope it's an easy fix!

I'm also thankful that the First-Time Home Buyer's Tax Credit was extended, and I'm optimistic that I'm going to find my clients a home!

I'm so excited that I'll have a long Thanksgiving break this year. I'm going to spend lots of time with family that week/weekend. I'll be finished with classes December 3rd, and then I have to go back the next week for finals. So, I'll officially be done on December 10th at 1:30pm. I am ridiculously thankful for that!!

the one with updates (just a few)

It has been a ridiculously long time since I've put up a new blog post. Whatever readers I may have left out there, I hope this one is worth it for you!

From my last post, I'm sure you can tell that school ended up taking a higher priority over letting my thoughts & happenings be known to the world wide web.

Summer semester ended & Fall semester began. I have about a month left of school before Christmas break, and I am so ready. I've already set my Spring schedule, so I know that the break won't last forever. I plan to enjoy each and every moment of not being in school as best as I can.

I wish I could travel and visit friends in faraway places, but I can't afford that. The only excursions I'll take will be to Millie-ville to visit my mom and to Gaines-vegas to visit my dad. There might be a trek or two to see my grandmother, but other than that, I'll be at home.

Home, sweet home. How I miss it. Working all these part-time gigs has really taken a toll on me. I wish I could just find one job that pays me enough so that I can go to school and work one job, with any other jobs being out of the desire of my heart, and not out of necessity.

Let's see . . . I don't look like my profile picture anymore. Kat has been cutting it short & has dyed it to a natural brown shade. Believe me, I will NEVER have anyone bleach my hair again. That bright blonde shade I was sportin' this summer is gone. If you didn't see it, well, you didn't miss anything. I hated it. My new look will be around for a while. I really, really, totally and completely red heart it.

I had to get a new doggie door put up. It's about time. I've been saying since I moved in that the doggie door was way too small for Sam. He finally broke it. Maybe that'll be the next picture I put up. I nearly cried when I saw the difference in the sizes of the old one & the new one. Maybe I won't put it up, lest one of you decides to call PETA on me. It took Sam a day or so to get used to the new door. He'd been avoiding the old one for so long that I think he was afraid of it. He runs in and out like a champ now.

In order to keep this from being the post that never ends, I'm going to call it quits here and leave you with a promise of a future post.

Weekend To Do List

- finish writing Reflection paper #1 for GGC1000. (which includes proofreading and any necessary editing, and typing it.) YES, I still hand-write my rough drafts.
- Submit Reflection paper by 7 AM Tuesday via Blackboard Vista.
- cut the grass in the front yard
- bathe both of these dirty and now smelly dogs!
- figure out who is going to dogsit while I'm at the beach.
- Read the 3 assigned Sci-Fi short stories as well as the Gibson interview for Eng.11o2.
-Start writing and preferably finish Response paper #1 for Eng. 1102.
-figure out what to wear to 10 year high school reunion.
- do laundry if necessary
-paint fingernails
- attend 10 year high school reunion
-hopefully meet up with other friends after reunion to go to a movie
- prepare my heart to go to 12 Stone Church and have an amazing worship experience.
- have yummy lunch at McCray's after church with my 2nd family (The W's)
- maybe convince Kat to cut/color my hair Sunday afternoon
- remind them it's payday weekend if they don't remember already
- babysit E & Lil E Sunday night
- GET SOME SLEEP!

These last few weeks have been so exhausting, this current week specifically. I spent my last weekend before school started at the lake with friends and family, and went to the 1 PM service at 12 Stone this past Sunday. That service deserves a blog post all to itself, so maybe I'll add that to the to-do list. I spent Memorial Day with the W's and had a great time of fellowship and lunch with them. I was able to meet the F's who are going to be at Sanibel with us. I'm glad I was able to meet them ahead of time.

The sad news about Memorial Day is that my mom's stepdad passed away a little before 10 pm that night. He never fully recovered from the stroke he suffered on February 10th this year. I was told of his passing after I had already gone to bed (early) because my first day of school was the next morning. We buried him Thursday afternoon, on his and Mana's 43rd anniversary. (We also found out Wednesday morning that my mom's cousin passed away unexpectedly Tuesday night, so I went with my mom straight from Gramps' funeral to another funeral home for that viewing.)

My first week of school is over, and I loved it! I'm working on a post about that, too.

So, as you can see, I am quite busy right now, and I am thrilled to be this kind of busy again.

With that, I'm going to get back to work on my to-do list!
-

Home.

Tonight is our quarterly deep worship experience at 12 Stone Church, and I couldn't be more excited.  I have been wrestling lots of things with God this week, and I am so prepared to gather tonight for an intense time of worship and praise.  We call it O2, something I find so fitting for me right now. 

Last night I was able to reunite the adorable little yellow lab with his family.  For some reason, they missed all the signs that I had put up in the neighborhood until last night, after they had gone to look for him at the pound!  I found out that his name is Tyson, and he is an indoor dog who decided to bolt Monday afternoon when they let him out to go potty.  He'd been safe and sound in my fenced yard since Monday night, and I told them that they should let him come back over for a play date since I know he had a blast at my house.  

That was a great feeling being able to see a family rejoicing over the return of their pet.  

I've been fighting symptoms of my allergies all week.  I thought it was strep or something strep-like earlier in the week, but it is now manifesting itself as bronchitis and laryngitis.  I barely have a voice, but my throat doesn't hurt anymore.   I learned something yesterday regarding antihistamines and how they work in me: if I take them during the day, I will sleep.  If I take them at night, I won't sleep. My sleep cycle is so out of whack; I would really like to get back to normal soon!  Today, I'm grateful that the babies are both feeling croupy and cruddy because it means we'll have a very low-key day.  We'll probably just watch movies and I might spring for a picnic in the living room.  

Wednesday was my SMART session at GGC.  They now officially have my life planned out from May through December.  I didn't realize that I was going to be able to register for fall semester classes, too!  I am registered for 9 credit hours spread over 4 classes this summer, and 4 classes, 12 credit hours in the fall.  I think I'm going to make changes though since I think one of them will conflict with my work schedule.  We'll see.  It's a required computer class that would be nice to get out of the way in the summer, but it would mean 3 hours a day, 4 days a week for about a month.  We'll see.  OH, and another cool thing about GGC . . . I don't have to get a gym membership anymore!! Now that I'm a Grizzlie, I can use my Claw Card for full access to the gym on site! How awesome!  I knew that they had bought the building that once held a gym, but I didn't know they were maintaining the gym! I'm so excited about that! 

That wraps up my update for the week.  I'm sure there will be more to come! 

Peace.

I spent the day in tears yesterday.  I woke up feeling overwhelmed.  Sleep escaped me Sunday night, and I found myself still awake after 3 AM, when I finally settled in to sleep, it seemed as though the alarm went off and it was time to wake up.  This was nothing like waking up on the wrong side of the bed.  It was like waking up before I had a chance to get in the bed.  

The first task of the day was to seek recommendations for a dermatologist because I had discovered a rather suspicious mole on my arm, and I wanted to have it examined before I ended up like Izzy with skin cancer spreading to my brain.  I was not at all worried that I might have skin cancer; those thoughts were far from my mind.  The fear that nearly consumed me was "how the heck am I going to pay for this?!"  I managed to get an appointment for next Wednesday morning.  

While talking to my dad about how to pay for doctor visits that I need (I need a physical and haven't made it to the dreaded girly doctor in three years), I mentioned something to him about wishing my state tax refund would come.  He said that I should go online to check the status.  I did not know that there was such a thing!  So, while I'm on the phone with him, I looked it up . . . and found that they had not received my tax return.  UM.  Problem.  He said to call the automated line because sometimes the internet lies.  Same thing.  SO, when I had 45 minutes to sit down and listen to the same song over and over again waiting for someone to pick up the phone, I did such . . . and at the 47 minute mark, the recorded voice comes on to say that due to high call volume, my expected wait time was over 45 minutes.  You better believe this girl hung up.   

You see, this pissed me off because each and every year I have problems with the good ol' state Department of Revenue.  They send me letters saying they never received my tax return and that I owe them money; I respond by sending them copies of the cancelled checks that I mailed in three months prior and cleared my bank mere hours after I mailed them.  They send letters to say in that governmental tone "whoops."  And then the years that they owe me money, they say that the never received my tax return and that they don't owe me as much money as I think they do or that I still owe them for a year prior, so they're just going to keep what they owe me.  I send letters.  They send a "whoops" and then a month later, send me my money.  SO, this year, I hear, AGAIN, that they are running behind.  This does not comfort me.  It should not surprise me, though.  But yesterday, it did.  It set me off.  I didn't know why it did, but it did.  Now, I'm pretty sure that it has something to do with the fact that I worked my tail off last year and they took so much of my paycheck in taxes, then I get laid off from that job . . . fast forward to now, I'm poverty-stricken and NEED THAT MONEY!   

I decided to shake it off and just told myself to tap into my savings account if I needed to do that and then maybe the tax return would show up before I go to the beach in June & that it could be my spending money.  

While trying to convince myself of this, my phone rings, and it's Dan calling me to give me the childcare schedule for today.  His messages says, "Hey, I have training tomorrow down in Buckhead so I'll need you to be at the house at 7:45 AM; I know that sucks."  Yeah.  Talk about "that sucks."  I lost it.  I cried.  I don't know why I did, I just did.  I just became so overwhelmed.  I'm not used to my Tuesdays starting that early.  They're usually like 11 AM at the earliest.  But, training is usually over by noon, so I figured that it wouldn't be that bad after all.  I shook that off and just went on with the rest of my day . . . and the rest of it is quite foggy. 

Kat and I went to the store that sells professional salon products to professional salon people only . . . and it was so cool to be able to get my Redken shampoo for less than $8 after tax.  It's usually $14 retail.  I love being able to take advantage of other people's discounts!  

After that, I took the kids to the Golden Arches so that I could eat lunch & they could play outside on the three-story kid's club house thingy.  (This was after 3 PM.)  HA.  That backfired.  Ethan whined for chicken nuggets and cried big ol' crocodile tears when I told him "no."  And then Emmy started crying just because she heard the word, "no."  SO, I looked at the lady who had by then asked me three times what I wanted to order . . .and I said, "make that a 10 piece chicken mcnuggets."  (Instead of the double cheeseburger I was craving.)  Oh, and since I felt my blood sugar practically so low I couldn't stand up, I ordered 3 chocolate chip cookies with no intentions of sharing.  LOL.  You can have my chicken, kid, but you ain't getting my chocolate!  After eating a nugget or four, Ethan ran off to play.  Emmy sat and begged for more food.  I didn't care.  I would rather feed her and keep her strapped into a high chair than chase her around the playground.  So she ate three of my nuggets.  And a cookie.  

My irritability level was just so high by this point that I was crying because I couldn't settle down. I sat and prayed and just begged God to ease things up for me . . . when we made it home at 4:15, Emmy was cranky and needed a nap.  I obliged and thanked God . . . rather reverently, I must say.  And Ethan and I curled up to watch "SpongeBob versus the Big One" for the seventh time since Friday night when it premiered.  I was finally feeling as if I could relax.  And then Dan came home with the news that his training seminar was until 4 PM and that after that he had to go back to the store to work until 7 PM.  That's not a big deal, except that I have to work at church from 6:30 until 8:30 . . . . AAAGH.  It's just an insane amount of childcare today, for not a whole lot of money.  (I realized last night that my whole day had to do with stressing over money.)  

There were other events after I left work that just left me wanting to pull my hair out, but I don't want to think about that, so you'll just have to trust me that the day continued to get much worse.  

When I got home, I found a lovely distraction.  There was this beautiful yellow lab male puppy playing in my yard.  He was on one side of the fence and my boys were inside the fence.  So, I let him inside to play with them.  It was doggie heaven.  Sammy was so happy to see the little guy I've dubbed "Joey" inside his yard.  I remembered that there was a sign up for a lost dog at the end of our street, so I drove down to get the phone number, but I found that the sign wasn't there!!  Joey ended up staying in our yard all night because I didn't want him to be loose and get hit by a car or picked up by the pound, and the vets were all closed, so I couldn't take him up to be scanned for a microchip.  (He has on a collar but no tags.)  I left him there this morning because he gets along so well with Sam and Bubba.  If he were already neutered, I could be convinced to keep him . . .  

So, I spent a lot of time crying and praying last night that God would just take away all of the overwhelming thoughts and feelings and that I could be well-rested and prepared for this incredibly long day.  When I woke up this morning, other than the strep-throat feelings I have, I felt refreshed.  

I had an appointment at with the doctor, but I pushed it off until tomorrow because I didn't feel like taking the babies with me to my doctor's office, who God bless him, can't seem to stay within a schedule and is forever running late.  

It's barely the afternoon, but the kids and I have had a great morning.  Ethan chose to wear big boy underwear this morning and hasn't had a single accident.  Emmy Hope has been in a great mood and has not climbed up on the kitchen table once.  She's napping peacefully now and he's watching Spider Man and eating his favorite lunch: a jelly sandwich and 2 pickle spears.  

Thank you, Lord, for answering my prayers.  It's good to feel at peace.   

It's so wonderful to be like part of the family . . .

especially when they agree to let you go on their family vacation in June! That's right, folks! I get to go with the Little E's and their mom, grandparents, & aunt to the beach this year!! We're going to Sanibel which is somewhere they go every year, and I've never been. I'm told it's like heaven on earth & that I won't want to go anywhere else after I've been there.

Their mom is going to be in Orlando for a hair show for school the weekend that the grandparent's leave for FL, so the babies and I are going to stay home & spend the weekend getting ready to go. We'll leave that Monday morning and drive to Orlando to pick up their mom, and then she'll drive the rest of the way down to Sanibel. Then we'll have 4 FULL days at the beach & leave to come home Saturday. It didn't take long to convince this girl that drivin' solo with two babies for 6-7 hours was totally worth a practically free vacation!

That's the most exciting news that I have right now, and it's pretty exciting!